When is the right time to give your child a cell phone or mobile?


This is one subject I really struggle with.  I have a real issue with kids having too much screen time to start with.  So much so, my husband and I really limit the access our kids have to screen time.

We weren't always so "hot" on screen time limits.  When our son was a toddler, we very quickly realised that his behaviour deteriorated rapidly, after an hour of screen time.  After a bit of research we found that he was not unusual, and that we needed to work with him to get a balance.  To help us, we now use a piece of software called Qustodio.  This allows us to set time limits, limit access to websites and when the time comes, help keep our children safe on their mobiles. 

Our son is about to start high school in September.  This comes with huge changes to the whole family routine/dynamic.  Not only will the kids be going to separate schools, but my son's school is in the next door town.  This means that my son will have to take a bus to school.  I currently take my kids to school which means that my son has never had to rely on himself to get to school on time and on his own steam.  I am fearful.  There are so many new situations to cover and so many "what ifs".  Hence, I am trying to break it down into bit size chunks, by starting with the phone.  He has also been asking for the last year or so, as to when he would be allowed to have a phone.  Peer pressure is real!  I can definitely see the pros of him having a phone.  It would allow him to get hold of me if he is running late, if plans change at school, he can research space and tech to his hearts content or if he just wants to chat (I can be wishful).  However, the cons...seem so many.  He loses/breaks the phone, he racks up a huge bill, he becomes addicted to the phone, he sexts, he gets bullied/groomed through the phone or it gets stolen.  I'm sure I am only scratching the surface here, but you get my point.  It's a minefield!

Of course, when you start out researching what others are doing about giving their tween a phone, you start looking inward first.  How do I use my phone?  If I put rules in place for my kids access to their phones, can I reflect that back to them in how I access my phone?  How much is this going to cost me? So, I started out by talking to my hubby about what we felt comfortable with.  We started out by asking ourselves, when would be the latest that our son would "need" a phone before going to high school.  We came to the conclusion, that he would need it if he started walking to school.  I had read that if a child is allowed to walk anywhere on their own, they should have a phone.  If they found themselves in an uneasy situation, the mere act of lifting the phone and dialing a parent, could save them from potentially being kidnapped etc.  (If I find the link again, I will be sure to post it here.)

So then the dilemma became, when would we feel comfortable about letting our son walk to school on his own.  Again, he has been asking for some time now when he would be allowed to walk to school on his own.  Some boys in his year, have been walking to school since the middle of year 5 and some, even in year 4!  There are a few points that I have made clear to our son.  Firstly, I would have to take his sister to school anyway so I really couldn't see the point, as the cons of him walking to school, far outweighed the pros.  Secondly, when walking to school, we have to cross three main roads.  Again, when we have walked together, his mind hasn't always been on the job and I've had to remind him about road safety.  Thirdly, I couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't be distracted if he was walking/scootering with friends or glued to a phone.  Safety is my main issue.  So what now?

My hubby and I have decided that he will be allowed a phone and to walk to school on his own, during the last half term of primary school.  This will allow us time to teach him how to use a phone, and start drip feeding the rules and responsibility of having a phone, before he has one in his hand.

The following article really made me think and if you've got this far, I think it will interest you too: 5 reasons your kid should not have a cell phone

Please let me know what your thoughts are on this subject.  Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.

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